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It is customary to please girls with gifts, help and affectionate words. But what is the right way to please a man, your partner, with your own hands? Other than joking about giving him food that he didn’t ask for and leaving in silence – although this option can work, too. We tell you what cute and nice things to do to your husband or boyfriend. How to give pleasure, without vulgarity and in a way that will be remembered.
The best ways to please a man
Women love with their ears – and it’s a fact. Do men have a special organ of perception? Let’s get to the bottom of these tales.
American psychologist and author Gary Chapman created a theory about the five languages of love that all mankind speaks. Its essence is that we express and perceive love in five different ways:
This means that in order to prove his love to the other person, one person will constantly help his partner, and expect no less help in return as a proof of reciprocity of his feelings. The other, with the same impulse, will shower his partner with the best gifts and expect the same, and the third will repeat the scheme with compliments and constant praise.
There are no right or wrong languages, and there are also often different combinations: a person may have two or three leading languages in which expressions of love are more important and valuable to him than in the others.
Any obvious sign of attention – whether it’s carefully prepared for his return from work dinner, sexy lingerie, support, a gift, a joint trip to the soccer game, which you are not too interested – will be counted and received by a man with pleasure and gratitude. But it is signs of attention, expressed in his usual language of love will be for him the most meaningful and valuable.
There is no data on which love languages are more common among women and which are more common among men, so trying to guess by pointing your finger in the sky is meaningless. Ask your young man about it by listing all the options. Or watch what kind of attention he reacts the most sensitively, the most emotionally. And about which especially sad if you stop giving them. This will indicate the languages which are closest to him.
Trace which languages suit you – if you are at least partially coincide in the choice, you will be much easier and more pleasant to please each other.
Chapman’s methodology, which he talks about in his book, has saved dozens of couples on the verge of divorce in the United States. It is very simple: Gary found out what love language each partner speaks, and asked both to make lists of what they would like to get from the beloved more than they have now. The list could include quite abstract requests like “more warmth” as well as quite down-to-earth ones, such as “vacuuming once every two days. The couple agreed to keep their lists for three weeks, no matter what. By the end of that period, their relationship wasn’t like a fairy tale, but they didn’t want to get divorced anymore.
Try the same experiment with your boyfriend or husband: ask him directly what he would like more from you, make your list, follow it for three weeks, and your relationship too will surely play with bright colors.
While you are on the lookout, please your man with traditional displays of attention, which always turn out to be pleasant and to the point:
Gastronomic heaven. Cook his favorite dish in different variations several times a month and spoil him with culinary delights on weekends. Some of them can be eaten in cafes and restaurants, if you’re not a fan of cooking, but some of them make their own hands – such attention is twice as pleasant.
Give small gifts. And do it without reason. A gift is not necessarily something grandiose, a man will surely appreciate a player for jogging, a bright and unusual flash drive or even a fragrance dispenser in the car, if he needs it.
Encounters with friends. Most girls are reluctant to let their young men go out for male companionship – differentiate yourself from them. And if he’s busy, arrange to meet his friends yourself and give him this surprise at the end of the work week. Chances are he’ll think he’s got the perfect girl.
Hobbies. He probably likes fishing, computer games, soccer, or anything else that a girl might find insignificant or unattractive. Nevertheless, don’t claim the time he has devoted to a hobby, give and help him do what he loves.
Shared interests. It will be ideal if there is something that you both like, and you can do it together. If not, show respect for his interests: go to a match or go fishing together. Once in a while, just to please him.
Unusual leisure. Give the gift of experience and himself, and him – these impressions can be a trip, a trip to the quest, a joint lesson in anything, a walk to romantic places, a trip to the theater or to a concert, and even a collage of joint photos.
Give in to your movie choices. Not every time, but once in a while – let him choose which movie or show to watch. This will be a sign of respect and that you notice his presence, give him a place to be.
Give thoughtful gifts. For important dates and just because – give something that is related to his hobbies, desires or needs. Such gifts are most enthusiastic and show maximum attention to the man.
Delight at a distance. Not together for a while – send cards, call and write more often (without annoying and constantly monitoring what’s going on with him), send wishes for the day in the morning, please with photos, help his relatives, but best of all – just come to visit him on weekends.
How to find out about his preferences
In the previous paragraph, we dealt with the general categories of preferences that are handy to use. In this one, let’s get to the specifics.
Let’s say your partner cares about tactile contact. He’s happy with any touch, but some give him more pleasure. Find out what his favorite pleasures are: gentle strokes on the head, hugs, fleeting kisses, or those moments when you’re holding hands?
Hint: finding out how to make your favorite man feel the most pleasure is more interesting in practice than asking around 😉
But you can’t do without questions, either. You don’t have to ask a man directly what pleases him. Experiment with leading questions and observe him in different situations. What does he ask for when he’s sick or in a bad mood? What gets him on his feet the quickest and boosts his morale? Offer him a gift or take him on a scenic hike together and see what he chooses. Watch for trends: is shared time always more valuable to him than an affectionate word?
Observe how he shows his own attention, love and affection. Try to return it in the same way. In most cases, people express and perceive attention in the same language, but there are exceptions. Your young man may be that rare case who gives gifts to show his love and appreciates the time you spend together as a sign that you love him.
The process of exploring and learning about the most important and valuable expressions of a person’s feelings is no less exciting and satisfying than the very effect that will be available when you find your lover’s “pleasure points.” Turn this into an interesting game, and it will bring a lot of pleasure to both of them.
Remember that pleasure isn’t just about words, gifts, help, time, and touch. No less important are the actions: when instead of a party with friends you decide to spend the evening with your chosen one, when you take care of him if he is sick, when you prepare his lunches and take him to work. Men are often men of action, not words, so they may see these actions on your part as attempts to make nice with actions.
What to make to please a man
The general answer to this question is: pay attention. Any kind. It is better to show it in an understandable and more valuable form. You can say a lot of tender words, emphasizing his features. But if you find out that his chosen one appreciates gifts most of all, do not leave them as the only sign of attention. Continue to spend time together, touching him, praising and helping him. Just now you know what you can put more emphasis on.
Here’s a list of things you can do for any guy to please and delight him:
Praise him. It’s easier for girls to tell by a guy’s reaction to their actions how pleased he is and to see it as gratitude. Guys don’t have this system worked out so well, so he needs to hear praise and words of appreciation in order to know that he did something cool.
Respect his opinion. Even if he says something you strongly disagree with – let him finish, listen to the end. Maybe he will still say something clever. But if not – so you show that you care about his words, thoughts and views. This is important to both men and women.
Don’t look for an excuse. Say that his smile is always reciprocated by you, give him a hug just because you feel like it, feel free to say nice important things when you feel like it – even in person, even by message.
Take an interest in him. Ask him how his health and mood are, what he’d like to eat, what’s new in that part of his life that usually has little to do with you. Do not overdo it, so as not to be intrusive, not to look suspicious and not to bore, but take interest in the news and desires.
Get a massage. Everyone enjoys a massage without exception – and you don’t have to have multiple certifications to give it pleasure. Simple touches and muscle relaxation will be enjoyable without trying to squeeze it properly or straighten the spine.
Do surprises. Big and small, on and off – this will show that you’re thinking of him and trying for his sake.
Don’t forget about regularity. All the tips that you will take from here, use not a single time, but regularly – this is the key to a happy relationship. Interest, attention and care must be undying.
Don’t berate him for life. If you do not like his hobbies, work or relatives – do not quarrel with him about it. It all came with the young man and you knew what you were choosing. If his life is fine with him, don’t try to change it.
Show a little concern. Buy covers or quality cloths for the windows in the car, bring lunch to work sometimes, keep order at home, if you live together.
Organize dinner with relatives, if he is on good terms with them. With a circle of lover, work, friends and hobbies, there is not always time for family, and it will be nice for him to get help to see and communicate with them more often.
These are ten universal ways to please a man. But far from it – in fact, if a girl makes a guy feel good in different ways, their relationship only gets better.
Kiss before you go to work
Greet them joyfully from work
Get him tickets to his favorite band’s concert or his favorite team’s game.
Wash his car
Make him on a quest to find a gift
Don’t criticise his tastes.
Give him a facial or head massage
Put a flash drive with his favorite music in the car
Give him a go-karting trip – ideally invite his friends to go too.
Invite his friends over to visit.
Organize a weekend camping trip or a vacation in nature.
Take care of him when he is sick.
Go skiing, biking, skating, snowboarding together
Give a certificate to a favorite hobby store
Buy or knit a sweater
Give a quality purse, belt
Cook a favorite childhood dish
Play computer games or a console together
Subscribe to your favorite magazine for a year
Brew delicious teas
Get a foot massage
Give a gift of quality sneakers or a certificate to a sporting goods store
Prepare a bath of salt to relax after a hard day.
Give him a massage at a good massage parlor
Get along with his family
Organize paintball for their male group
Give him a quality Swiss knife.
Ask his parents what he dreamed of when he was a child, do it
Write a list of “101 things I love about you.”
Give the gift of a hobby-related training course
Give a gift of a remote control helicopter
To help pick out gifts for loved ones
Serve breakfast in bed.
Read his favorite book.
Not argue with him about anything, at least for one day
Ask his advice.
Walk around the house in nice homemade clothes.
Put stickers that say things like “You’re the best,” “I love you,” “Smile, don’t frown,” and others like that
Ask him what he wants.
Ask him for help
Let him rest in silence after work
Don’t torture him with hobbies he isn’t excited about
Help him with his work whenever possible.
Whatever you decide to do for your lover, if it’s about attention, interest and trying to make him happy – he will definitely appreciate it. Don’t be afraid to experiment!
If you don’t have a young man yet, you can already choose a dating site that suits you and meet a man who will appreciate any of your actions.